On this page tells the tale of everything that went ahead before the actual wedding, from the proposal (and my nagging before that :-) until the day itself.

Proposal

Of course Simon and I were both somewhat older when we became involved (to be blunt we were in our thirties), so our biological clocks are ticking. Also we had a history together of 6 years penpalls, one year of long-distance relationship and more than a year living together.

In other words sooner rather than later it would be time for the next step. Simon had told me repeatedly that we wouldn't get married until the kids would be asking for it, but in return I had said that I wanted a traditional proposal.

And what do you know on our first morning in our new house (or in Simons words: after the first night together - and before you start thinking filthy thoughts: we were both too tired from moving house !) we talked about all the things that had happen to us in the past years (meeting, mutual visits, obtaining a VISA, migrating, living together and recently buying a house and moving into it). Simon then said it was time for the next step and with those words he slid of the bed and proposed on his knees. I didn't have to think long to say YES !

Engagement

With something ceremonial like a wedding the differences in culture become apparent. The Dutch are more practical (stingy ?): they have only one ring which they wear as both engagement and wedding ring. In Australia (according to the British tradition) the woman actually has two rings: one elaborate engagement ring and a simpler wedding band. The man normal just has the wedding ring. Needless to say that I prefer the Australian way.

Again in accordance with his previous teasing, Simon presented me with a pull-ring of a Coke-can with his proposal. He'd especially saved it from our holiday in Bintan as in Australia you only see those small safety-thingies.

A week later we went shopping for a real ring. After some window-shopping we found a ring we both liked at one of the reputed jewellers. It is a fairly simple plane band, but with three gorgeous diamonds: two little white ones on the outside and a slightly bigger champagne one in the middle. It's really beautiful and even now (two months after) I can still be found admiring it.

We had already planned a house-warming party as soon as we would have the place in order. So now that could double as an engagement-party as well. As we have the space we invited nearly a 100 people and in the end 60 or so turned up. It was a nice Saturday-evening so most ended up on the patio or in the backyard. We had hired 50 chairs so provide seating.

I had also bought some food. Simon had told me I was a bit over-enthusiastic and afterwards I had to admit he was right as we were left with 80 hot-dogs (rolls and sausages), 2 packs of meatballs, a pack of sausagerolls and various bags of crisps and crackers. In fact we're still eating leftovers.

Preparations

We've started our preparations for the wedding early. You have to do this as everyone wants to get married on a Saturday and popular venues get booked more than a year in advance.

Of course we had to consider the fact that Simon had friends and relatives in the Netherlands. We decided to have the official wedding here in Perth and then go on honeymoon to Holland and have a second party there. So we had to choose a period which has not too hot weather (in Perth) and not too cold either (in the Netherlands). We came up with April 2000 which would give us enough time for preparations.

But Simons parents had indicated they wanted to come and visit us at the end of this year and we would like to give them the opportunity to be present at our wedding. When we consulted them, they expressed the idea of coming 'normally' in November and then again for our wedding in April !

Next we wanted to plan it as close to Easter a possible to we could take advantage of some extra holidays during our honeymoon (both Simon and I have switched jobs recently and we have to start saving holidays again). First port-of-call was the church. In South Perth, close to where we lived, is a nice white churchy church (most churches in Australia are very modern, but this one looks like a church from the outside). It's an Anglican church, the Parish of Saint Mary the Virgin. Simon describes the Anglican service as a mix between Catholic and Protestant with some quirky customs. I visited a Anglican church in Goomalling so it seemed sort of fitting.

As they don't do weddings the week before Easter, the date was now set for 8 April 2000. Next we had to find a venue for the party. Again a difference in the Australian custom and the more practical Dutch ways. The Dutch invite a small crowd during the wedding-ceremonies and dinner and then invite everyone for a reception/cocktail-party afterwards. In Australia we invite everyone for the whole day. Even with only one family to consider (with the exception of Simons parents) we are still looking at 80+ people.

We managed to book a hotel in Como, the Broadwater Pagoda, real close to where we lived and close to the church.  Originally built in 1922 as a dance hall and tea rooms, the historic Pagoda Ballroom was, for generations, one of Perth's most famous riverside landmarks. Now, it has been restored to its former glory as part of the new Broadwater Pagoda Hotel. The site has been recognised by the South Perth Historical Society as part of its heritage trail. We have booked a package-deal including the meal, all the drinks, some of the decorations and a bridal-suite for us.

Next was booking a photographer, a DJ for the party, a florist, getting a dress, designing & ordering the stationary, the cake, set up a Bridal/Gift registry and to appoint bridesmaids and groomsmen. With this last Simon has chosen one of his friends who he knew before his migration. 'She' was on his New Zealand-trip .. yes, we will have one groomsman (Paul) and one groomswoman (Tracy). Julie and Kathy will be my bridesmaids. Tracy will wear a similar style dress as the bridesmaids, but in black. We all went for a fitting of our dresses when Simons mum was here so that she could see them as well.

Meanwhile Simons parents have also booked a location for the Dutch reception on Friday 29 April 2000. I hope that we can take my dress on the plane with us, so that I get to wear it again.

By the time Simons parents visited us again (16 March until after the wedding), we were so busy with our preparations that we hardly had time for us: fittings for the dresses, rehearsal in the church, revise the seating-plan, accept early gifts. It was a good thing that they had visited before, and therefor new our house and surroundings, and to be honest it was great to have them cook & clean for us (who says living with your in-laws is awful !!).

Bucks/Hens night

One of the things before the wedding is of course the last night out, or the bucks/hens night. We all went to Northbridge to meet the girls in an Irish pub. Simon, his parents and my parents were there too. When Tracy and Paul & Julie had arrived, I was given a nice fluorescent pink veil and Simon a 'ball-and-chain' (fortunately made from a buoy, so not too heavy).

The boys then went to their venue were they were too have a meal, and we went to an Italian restaurant. There the girls gave me a number of tasks to accomplish in the evening. Two of them involved 'fondling' a hairy and a bare chest. Our waiter had a bare chest, and the owner a hairy one so that was easy.

After the meal we met up with the boys and the parents went home so that we could really let loose. We visited several other bars, an amusement palace (I had to take a motor-bike ride) and they made me buy something in one of the X-rated shops.

Simon went with his entourage to a gentlemen's-club (strip-joint) called the Doll House. He came home after 3 in an inebriated state. He was very funny and chatty and told me the boys had sprung for a lap-dance of a girl named Perry-Anne. Unfortunately she thrusted her breasts so close to his face, that he could hardly see them.

The next day we were both a bit the worst for wear, but it was a great way to spend the weekend before the wedding.

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